Per my request, we started our day with a drive into the mountains, headed for Dorrigo National Park which is rated as highly as any in New South Wales. The park's popular hike is the Never Never Circuit, an 8.5 kilometer "easy" trek through open temperate rainforest and past a few waterfalls. A ranger plugged it enthusiastically and pointed me in the direction of the trailhead. It was overcast, cool, and had recently rained which we reasoned was why no one else was hiking it.
We anticipated being in the rainforest for the next 4 hours. Since no one else had been through there that day, I broke through spider strands every few steps. The area was damp and very quiet, except for our footsteps. About 1 km around the circuit it was noticed that Debbie had picked up some stow-aways, along for a ride... and a meal -- leeches. There was a moment of confusion and silence, but then the rainforest around us erupted, "GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME".
The leeches that were trying to give us all hickeys were not of the variety that make infrequent movie appearances - flat and slimey, rather, there were slender and slimey and moved liked inchworms. And now that one was noticed, dozens of others, all probing about for something to suck, became immediately visible. Debbie tried to pull the 1 from her ankle, but the force of her fingers along the parasite's slimey sides was less than the force of the hickey being given to her. I had with me a lighter that, strategically placed, would causes the leeches to release, but I was instead already busy doing what everyone does in the presence of a harmlessly panicked friend, doubled over... laughing. "AHHHH, GET IT OFF ME". We all were (except of course for Debbie). If it weren't for the fact that the ground was moving I would have been on it. Debbie managed to get them off and then ran back to the car. The rest of us turned around and walked back. Stacey displayed her own vocal chords once we stepped away from the rainforest and had to do our own de-leeching. Doug brought one along with him in the car that had a toe fetish.